It’s an epidemic

I take daily 20 to 30 minute walks. I take these walks to A) keep the blood flowing during the work day, and B) take some time to relax and compose my thoughts. Typically, I only end up accomplishing one of the two.

You see, I usually take these walks through moderately populated buildings as my walk location choices are limited. I do my best to stay as far to the right as possible – rules of the road – yet, without fail, I’m burdened by multiple individuals who possess an extreme deficit of attention to their surroundings.

It’s like I’m a magnet. A human magnet. There I am, minding my own business, on the right side of whatever path I happen to be taking, in full stride, when right in front of me walks a curious onlooker of god-knows-what with a blind spot bigger than Helen Keller, forcing me to either completely stop and nearly fall face first due to the abrupt change in inertia, or perform a shoulder roll maneuver worthy of a pro football player to avoid them. This had led, on multiple occasions, to near ankle rolls and heightened blood pressure, and I know I can’t be the only victim of this travesty.

To hell with Zimmerman and the NSA. THIS is an epidemic.

I tried to justify these actions by these awareness-impaired individuals, but I could not conjure up a valid explanation for their behavior. Then I thought, what if it’s me? What if I’m just a self-absorbed uber-narcissist who hates people? I quickly realized that the reality is quite the contrary. I, who am constantly aware of my surroundings, realize the implications of what a lack of awareness of my surroundings would do to inconvenience others. Thus, I walk to the far right not for my own convenience, but for the convenience of others. That, by definition, makes me the opposite of a self-absorbed uber-narcissist. Right??

Anyway, the point is that I place a high intrinsic value on my personal space, and you should too. So let’s all start paying attention to what we’re doing and where we’re walking so we can get the hell out of my way, m’kay?

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It’s an epidemic — 2 Comments

  1. Pingback: The Stoplight Epidemic - Ryan's Stupid Journal

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